|
|
BOOK
ILLUMINATIONS
From Merrimon Book Reviews
|
|
Not Lost Forever
by Carmina Salcido with Steve Jackson
On April 14, 1989,
Mexican immigrant Ramon Salcido murdered most of his family --- his
wife, her two sisters, his mother-in-law and the man he suspected of
having an affair with his wife. He brutally slashed the throats
of his three young daughters, disposing of them at the county
dump. Three year old Carmina survived. Some of her memories
from that horrific time survive. Filling in the gaps with the
help of others living in Sonoma at the time, Carmina Salcido reaches
back into the past to try to sort through and assemble the true story
from the bits and pieces from the reliable recollections, some
exaggerated memories, others perhaps not true. In NOT LOST
FOREVER, Carmina Salcido with the help of writer Steve Jackson tells
the story of her father's crime and her struggle for survival, not only
her physical self but her emotional and spiritual life.
NOT LOST FOREVER is moving story of one girl's resilience to fight back
against those who would silence her voice and against the darkness that
threatens to subsume her in the aftermath of the crime. Those
responsible for her care often let her down, from the distraught
grandfather who himself was a victim after having lost almost his whole
family to the family who adopted her. The account of the Swindell
family's abuse of her emotional needs stuns one at least as much as the
story of her father's crime. Under the cloak of religion, their
child-rearing exacerbates the isolation and loss of family often
compounding the psychological difficulty of her experiences rather than
nurturing her needs. In Carmina's life, the ultra-conservative
Catholic TFP (Tradition, Family, Property) movement plays a significant
role and not for the better as practiced by those who were in charge of
her welfare. Her account is not a tirade against religion but
rather one that reveals the hypocrisy of some of its practioners.
Some of the moments leave a reader wanting to scream at those to whom
she was entrusted after the crime. Carmina Salcido's story of her
life in a convent is one of the most poignant moments of the story, not
only for the understanding she begins to receive from religious figures
but her growing awareness of her own specific spiritual
needs. Her life after the convent is no piece of
cake. Often the help she receives is exactly what she does not
need. Nevertheless, NOT LOST FOREVER is a story
of survival. Despite all the horrors of her life, those of the
crime and those that resulted indirectly from the crime's aftermath,
Carmina Salcido's story leaves a reader with a portrait of a young
woman with a resilience and strong force within herself to reach beyond
the limitations imposed on her.
As a true crime memoir, NOT LOST FOREVER is welcome
change from the typical true crime scenario simply for being able to
hear the victim's own words. NOT LOST FOREVER does
not explain Ramon Salcido's crimes other than to give a a view of what
law enforcement saw and the father's unsettling view of himself as the
victim. The descriptions of Ramon Salcido's conversations are
rather a stage in Camina Salcido's growth as she separates her fantasy
of his remorse from the man he is.
NOT LOST FOREVER is Carmina Salcido's way of finally speaking
out. As a young woman, the story tells the first part of her
road. Of necessity, this is not a complete story. For
readers living outside the Sonoma area who remember the news blurbs of
the crime, NOT LOST FOREVER fills a reader in on the story not reported
by the news. So often, once the media buzz moves on to another
story, and the story disappears from the public but here a reader
catches a glimpse of the story after the media has left.
Sometimes, NOT LOST FOREVER is a bit odd in the
beginning as one wonders whose voice is speaking --- Carmina
Salcido's or Steve Jackson's. The writing itself is not literary
and is often matter-of-fact with a simple directness. The power
of the narrative comes from the unpolished sense of honesty, especially
in the later part of the story. Her outrage and speaking out
about the events in her life is balanced by a certain graciousness and
grounded developing spirituality and self-knowledge.
Publisher: Harper
True Crime
(June 28, 2011)
Hardcover (Oct. 2009)
Reviewed by Merrimon,
Merrimon Book Reviews
|
|
|
